Together, But Tired? Try This Instead

By Yonnette Stephen, Licensed Therapist & Intimacy Coach in Weston, Florida. Join us for Love & Mimosas in Pembroke Pines, Florida.

It’s common for couples to feel out of sync because daily life leaves little room for each other. You’re managing responsibilities, navigating schedules, and holding it all together. By the time evening comes, the most you can offer might be a nod across the room or a quick recap of the day before falling asleep.

As a therapist and intimacy coach in Weston, Florida, I work with couples who are navigating the exhaustion of daily life and want to feel close again, even when energy is low.

That kind of exhaustion doesn’t mean something is wrong, but instead, that the connection has been put on autopilot. What’s missing is the simple act of making space for it again.

Reconnection Doesn’t Have to Be a Big Production

The idea of planning a weekend trip or scheduling a big gesture might feel exciting at first, but when you’re already tired, even the planning feels like another task. What couples often need is a shift in how they show up for each other in the everyday. Even a lingering glance during dishes can shift the entire tone of your night.

You can begin by reclaiming small moments of closeness. That could mean taking five minutes after the kids are in bed to sit next to each other in silence, without a screen between you. It could mean drawing a bath and inviting your partner in just to be together.

These aren’t grand solutions. But they are real ones.

Bring Back Touch Without the Pressure

When physical touch becomes task-oriented, initiated only with the expectation of s3x or completely absent from daily life, partners can begin to feel unseen. But intentional, nonsexual touch can soften the edges of even the most disconnected season.

Try placing your hand on their back as they pass you in the kitchen. Greet them with a kiss before leaving in the morning, even if they’re still half-asleep. Pull your chair closer at dinner and let your knees rest against each other.

Small, repeated gestures like these bring the relationship back into focus. They remind both of you that closeness is still available, even when energy is low.

Choose Closeness Without Waiting for the “Right” Time

You don’t have to be in a good mood. You don’t have to have all the answers. You just have to choose each other consistently and without the pressure of making it perfect.

So many couples wait for the right moment to reconnect, but in truth, most of those moments have to be created. A candle lit beside the bed can signal it’s time to slow down and talk. A shared shower can replace the need for a big, elaborate night out.

What matters most is the willingness to return to each other, without expectation or judgment.

If you’re not sure where to start, try this: Start Small—Start Tonight

• Sit together at the end of the night, even for just ten minutes. No phones. No TV. Just the two of you together.

• Ask your partner one question: “What would help you feel more seen this week?” Then follow through in a small way.

• Do something nurturing like run a bath, pour a drink, light a candle, and invite your partner to join you, without words if necessary.

  
  

Being tired isn’t the problem. Staying disconnected is. When you start to move gently toward each other again, even in small ways, you make room for the kind of intimacy that can carry you through this season.

For more ways to nurture intimacy in your relationship, be sure you’re subscribed to our emails. I share weekly practices, reflection questions, and reminders that help you return to each other—without needing a getaway or a reset button.

→ Get the weekly connection notes

Yonnette Stephen is a licensed therapist and intimacy coach based in Weston, Florida. She helps couples in person and online move beyond surface connection and into the kind of closeness that’s felt. Her in-person gatherings and practice offer space to rebuild what life may have dulled.